How to use the body in making a decision
If you’re struggling with a decision, here’s how to use the body to help you make it.
Helloooo! It’s been a moment.
I’ve been toying with an update post, something to ease us back in together, but I’ve settled on just diving right back in with something you can actually use. Let’s not dilly-dally.
So here’s [annoucement-style] howtouseyourbodyinmakingadecision!
Can I tell you a secret?
Your body is helping you make decisions all the time.
When we’re choosing between multiple options, the brain runs a hyper-quick subconscious emotional reading of what it would be like to have one option, then what it would be like to have the other option, and so on.
The results feed into our mental hierarchy of what’s most important to you, and then out pops a decision, before you even realise what’s going on.
This is inconsequential when the choices are whether you’re going with the black or the beige notebook, or the yogurt or the eggs, but things get a little messier as the decisions get more difficult.
Also, that mental hierarchy I mentioned? It would be ideal if it would be built from what we consciously want to move ourselves towards, and stayed the same all the time, right?
Unfortunately, the hierarchy is constantly shifting and changing, like the staircases at Hogwarts (I’ve been playing a lot of Legacy lately, the HP references may be abundant).
If all internal systems (digestion, the immune system, and so on) are functioning with flying colours: brilliant. The brain receives adequate resources that can go towards building new neural networks, or complex problem solving. The decision making is free to move into the conscious realm, where we get to apply our smarts or our motivational energy.
If not, we hit a stumbling block at the unconscious level.
Let’s take an easy example. If the brain receives extreme hunger signals from the digestive system, your decision on what to have for dinner is going to be swayed towards a higher calorie input before the decision even reaches the conscious level.
Now let’s crank up the decision stakes, and add the nervous system into the mix.
What if the decision you’re trying to make is whether or not to leave your current job? Not only is this decision complicated by a variety of highly conditioned factors, like your relationship to money, the opinions of people close to you, or what success looks like, but the extended nature of the decision means that you experience multiple hierarchy shifts throughout the life cycle of the decision.
You may think about it under acute stress, when the fight response is activated, cortisol and blood pressure are high, muscles are primed for action, and as clear as day, “fuck this shit” comes through. You’re ready to throw your laptop at the nearest person and roar your indignation in their face. But, of course, social cues mean that we don’t enact that particular response, and we have to move on.
But as the stress continues, your nervous system tries the flight response. Energy is still super high, and you’re dealing with everything thrown at you as quickly as possible, but as you tip over your threshold, thinking becomes impossible. Your urge to run away leaves you abandoning it. You’d rather take a shower, frantically clean the house, change the subject, or leave the conversation; whatever gets you out.
If that’s not effective at removing the stress, the nervous system attempts its last resort - the freeze response. Everything slows and stills, and our thoughts become clunky or foggy. Numbness settles in. It’s unlikely we’re even considering the decision at this point, but if we are, nothing really makes much sense. We find ourselves in thought loops, exhausted by it all.
And, of course, all of this is happening as you get hungry, as you get tired, as you get dehydrated, as you laugh, as you have a great day with a friend. The staircases continue to move.
Damn. Is it any wonder that we can’t figure out what to do?
So if you’re struggling with a decision, here’s how to use the body to help you make it.
Check in with the basics, without judgement - you’re just priming your system with what it needs to work effectively. How was your sleep last night? Do you need a snack? When was the last time you had a glass of water? I say this as someone who often forgets. Let’s care instead of chastise.
Assess the nervous system, and whether you’re noticing any signs of dysregulation. Look for an elevated heart rate or a racing mind (you might categorise this as anxiety); tense, held muscles; blankness when asked a question; or simply an internal experience of heightened danger, or being on high alert. If any are current, focus on nervous system regulation first before you turn to the decision. Take a look at this instagram post for simple ideas on how to regulate yourself depending on which response you’re experiencing, but I will also develop this into a longer post for you guys.
Once you’re feeling more regulated, reflect on the thought patterns that arise with each nervous system response, particularly if they were linked to this decision. Try completing the following prompts:
- When I am at my most anxious, the thought I hear most often is:
- When I shut down, my mind turns to:
- When my body is calm, the thoughts I hear are:
- When my body is positively activated (in dance, for example), I experience:
Collecting this information will begin to build a picture of how your thoughts change depending on your emotional or physical state, so you can understand the evolution of the decision, instead of feeling as though you’re just going back and forth all the time.
Try journalling about the decision while sat on the floor in the middle of a room, then move to a spot where your back is against a wall. This utilises something called ‘embodied metaphor’, which builds on the understanding that our physical posture and environment alters our thinking processes, and it’s something that I’ve found really useful in client sessions. I’d also be interested in taking this exercise outside, and using a tree to lean against. I’ve put a couple of article references below for anyone interested in the science behind it.
Support the body through change. Even when we’ve made the decision, it’s likely our body will fuss, and fight, and faulter as it adjusts to its new circumstances. This isn’t wrong, or mean that the decision was wrong; it’s just part of the process. Make time for the intentional release of emotion in safe ways, self compassion, and allowing the nervous system to regulate to a new environment.
Bonus tip: I have an exercise that I love to do with clients who are faced with a multi-option decision, but it’s best completed with someone guiding you as it requires back and forth feedback. If you’re interested, this is a great option for a coaching call consultation, just hit reply to this email for more info.
I wish I could tell you what the answer is to whatever you’re searching for. I wish I could point you to an exercise or a place in the body you can reach for to truly know which option to choose, I really do.
But hopefully these steps get you slightly closer towards making that decision.
Take care, and if you have any questions at all, just hit reply.
Alex
x
Embodied metaphor links:
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02372/full#:~:text=Embodied%20Metaphorical%20Creativity,radical%20break%20with%20CC%20paradigms.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1871187117300317?via%3Dihub